Before onto the topic, a little back story:
It’s a normal day at school today. Nice breeze, good weather, and 4chan ain’t blocked on the school network, everything is going fine. At school this week everybody is practicing for the “Sports Day” coming up this Saturday. It’s basically an event where the kids are proving to the public that institutionalization in Japan is still as strong as it was in the days before “o we so bery soly/I raugh I rose” era.
Anyhoo~ usually after such a big event at school we have a drinking party or a “飲み会-nomikai” where basically all the teachers get together after school and chow down while getting totally shitfaced, you know, like every other day for me (i kid, i kid). I used to love thses soooo much when I lived in Chiba city. Night would start with the formal dinner, halfway through that we all start drinking. After the dinner we all go to either Karaoke or another bar, then to another, then to ramen, and then another or maybe a soapland and/or hostess bar (only happened once with the last one <.<). Those bastards knew how to have a good time.
…Wow, 2 paragraphs and I still haven’t gotten to the topic, lol. Ok, so I moved to the country side in April this year after my company decided to expand and I had the choice of moving to where the expanding was or take a pay cut. This area is fine, after a couple months I have gotten used to it and now once again a big school event has come along which brings back the long-loved-j-tradition of the NOMIKAI….except here the places/people are so spread out that everybody drives a car.
So If all of us are going out drinking I would naturally assume that the “Designated Driver”(aka-the Double DD aka-DD)” is a globally excepted thing and considering how the Drinking and Driving laws here are so strict (cops are retards here, but still if you get caught with even more than one beer in your system you’re fucked). ALSO Seeing as Japan is such a “group-oriented” place and how none of my female coworkers would drink at these events, there seems like there would be MORE than enough people to be a “Double D”. BUT, like many things about Japan, my awesome-western-cockmorethan5inches-hamburgerpizza Gaijin logic was not understood here. When I asked the english teacher where I worked more about it I was stunned.
Me-”Soooooo, like Mr. J. “
Mr. J-”Yes Sam-sensei”
Me-”How are all of us getting to the Nomikai tonight? Like Trains/Bikes?”
Mr. J-”Oh, no we are driving to this place since no trains/buses go by there”
Me-”Well, thats awesome and all, but like, how is everybody going to drink if everybody is driving?”
Mr. J-”Oh we will use Untendaikou, that is where you drive to some place, get drunk, then call somebody to drive your car back to your house with you in it while his partner follows behind your car. It’s usually like 2000yen+ (like$20+)”
Me-”Wouldn’t it be simpler/cheaper just to have all the people not drinking to drive everybody there/back? I mean, we all live in the same general area and nobody is working the next day.”
Mr. J-”Sam…I don’t understand what you are saying”
Oh Japan, I loled.
So almost everyday I get emails from people on youtube trying to ask my opinion on shit about this country, but sometimes I just need to make fun of their n00bness and post this shit on the interwebz.
.”